Trace the Shape of My Heart
by Coneflower Adams
Summary: How can he share himself with another when his whole life has been centered around his son?


**Trace the Shape of My Heart**

**For: alyreandalute, as a Rumbelle secret santa gift!**

**Prompt: Angsty argument over their future. Non-Smut.**

**Rating: G**

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"What if we can never leave Storybrooke?"

He dreaded the question. Being trapped in Storybrooke was not an option, but staying there for the rest of their lives seemed more and more probable.

"What if you never find Bae?"

"I will find him!" Rumpelstiltskin snapped, enraged by the reality of the possibility of never finding his son, and the one person he needed for support now doubted him. He pushed passed Belle with long, angry strides, but she caught his free hand as he went by. Rumpelstiltskin spun around; his steely glare boring into her.

"Please hear me out" Belle said as she held his hand in both of hers, soft eyes pleading with him. His anger desired to yank his hand from hers, but he stayed it, learning from a time ages ago not to give in to it lest he do something he'd regret.

His eyes still smoldered as he nodded, curtly. "Speak your piece, dearie."

"I want you to find Bae more than anything and I look forward to that day, but I can't stand here and let you put your life on hold any longer. Almost three years have passed and you're no closer to finding a way to cross the town line. It's been centuries since you began the quest to even find him."

Rumpelstiltskin averted his glare to the window in the dining room, his blood boiling at this point. "Get to the point, Belle, before I lose my patience" he snarled, feeling an invisible knife digging into his chest at her words.

Her bottom lip trembled, but Belle's face was brave. She was always so brave. She raised his hand to her lips, planting a loving kiss to his knuckle and his jaw tightened at the feel of her lips to his skin. "I'm here and I love you and I want us to move forward together," she started, laying her heart out totally and utterly before him. "I know there's enough room in your heart for more. For me. For a child of our own."

Rumpelstiltskin shut his eyes at the mention of another child, feeling the concept beyond his reach.

"You've put your life on hold ever since Bae went through that portal. It's time to move forward, Rumpelstiltskin. I'm not telling you to forget about Bae or to stop trying to cross the town line, but don't let your search for him blind you from what you have right in front of you, what you can have if you give it a chance."

He'd heard enough. He knew Belle was right. He could take her at that moment to be his wife. They could be a family, share in the joy of raising a child that would be theirs, in a home full of love and without want. It was right at his fingertips, but he couldn't grasp it. Bae was his life from the very moment the boy was born. Bae was his only reason for living, and to share his whole heart with another felt like a betrayal to the boy.

Rumpelstiltskin's anger had cooled, but he couldn't stand there any longer facing the woman he loved dearly but not being able to give his entirety to. Guilt suddenly replaced the anger, and Rumpelstilskin gently pulled his hand from hers and with the calm of a storm dying down, walked away without a word.

The evening was nearing an end as Rumpelstiltskin knocked on the door of Belle's apartment. The door cracked open, the lock chain keeping it from widening anymore, and Belle's face peeked through the narrow opening. As soon as she saw him, she sighed and slid the chain.

"Yes, Rum?" Belle planted a hand on her pajamas clad hip.

He frowned at her. "May I come in?"

She moved aside as he walked through, following him to the couch. Rumpelstiltskin took great care setting his cane against the end table, and shifted to face Belle as she curled up beside the arm of the couch. He clasped his hands together, fiddling for a moment until he gave up on keeping them still and laid a palm on Belle's thigh.

"You know I love you" he started, hesitation in his voice.

Belle lowered her gaze to the hand upon her thigh. "I know."

"When you regained your memory in the woods and told me you loved me, I could barely hear any of it. You showed up at my shop alive and well, confessed your love for me even after I tossed you aside and saying to you those horrible things, and what did I do?" A frustrated breath escaped his nostrils. "I ran to the well to retrieve magic. You were pouring your heart out to me and all I could think about was bringing magic to this world. I still feel at times as if I'm looking through you, and you've been so patient with me, forgiven me so many times. You don't deserve to be treated that way, Belle."

A beat passed before he felt Belle move beside him, wrapping her arms about his shoulders and laying her forehead against his temple. "And you deserve some happiness, Rum" she murmured into his ear. "My heart aches for you every day when there's no process to finding a way across the town line. I will stand by you till the end of our days to find a way over, but what I can't bare is seeing you go through life stuck in a certain place in time."

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head, defeated. "I don't know how to move on, Belle. I don't know if it's even possible until I find Bae."

Placing a delicate finger under his chin, Belle turned his face to hers and met his lips with a soft kiss. "I know it's not easy, but we'll find a way to move forward together." She pushed back a strain of brown hair from his face, her blue eyes intensely focused on his. "Marry me, Rumpelstiltskin?"

All he could do was stare passed her, surprised and awed at her proposal. He should have been the one to ask her that question, maybe on a late night stroll through the park or during a candle lite supper at his home with a beautifully crafted gold ring he fashioned himself to slip on Belle's finger as she said yes.

Instead, they sat on an old, worn leather couch in Belle's apartment, discussing their uncertain future. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't how it should be playing out. But it was too late to change that, too late for Belle to take the question back. She was asking a question he could never muster even when his whole being wished he could.

"Rumpelstiltskin?" he heard her call and it sounded as if she were a hundred miles away. Soft fingertips caressed his cheek, and he finally could meet her concerned gaze.

"Belle," he breathed, trying desperately to fight the urge to run. He needed this. He needed her to help him move on, because he didn't have the strength, didn't have the courage to do so himself. But… "You deserve better-"

In an instant, Belle was on her feet, fists tightly balled at her sides. "Don't worry about what I do or what I don't deserve! I chose you, Rumpelstiltskin." She sank to her knees as fast as she jumped to stand, and laid hands on his shoulders. "I want you to be happy, and if I can do anything to bring a smile to your face, I will. We have a gift that not everyone can obtain. Please, let yourself have happiness for once." She was on the verge of tears as her hands slipped around his neck drawing their faces inches from each other. "Marry me?"

An eternity flew by in a matter of moments. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, the pounding of his heart the only sound in the room. Belle was so close he could feel her warm breath on his lips. He could not deny her or himself any longer.

_Forgive me, Bae, for sharing my heart with another._

He closed the gap between them, pulling Belle onto his lap and meeting her lips with his. Moving forward would be the hardest thing he'd ever do, but he knew he wouldn't be alone and that made all the difference.

Rumpelstiltskin broke away, only enough to meet Belle's damp eyes. "Yes, darling."


End file.
